What Should I Do?
Deep down, I know that I need my counselling sessions yet all I want is to end them. This sounds childlish and ungrateful but I honestly do not see the reason for me being here. I pity my counsellor as she has tried her best to curb these suicidal thoughts inside my head. I did put the effort, but all of that becomes futile when a single criticism hits me, especially by my family members. It physically aches my heart. You must be thinking, how much of a narcissist is she to let a criticism make her want to kill herself? No, I am not a narcissist. These criticisms confirm my worthlessness. Confirm how much of a burden I am. Confirm how much confidence I lack. Confirm how much of a lazy idiot I am. Confirm how slow I am compared to my peers, even those younger than me. Confirm every thought that has been slowly killing me. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't see the reason to. I want to die but I'm too scared to feel physical pain. What